Writing About Writing About Jesus... and some other things too

with Jesus

Thu, 1 Jan 2009 21:05:28 -0600

What a difference one week can make. I haven’t blogged partly because of Christmas but mostly because of my dad’s declining health. There simply wasn’t time with our three kids and their families piling into our house and then trying to spend every moment we could squeeze in with Mom and Dad.

My daddy went home to be with Jesus on New Year’s Eve around 11:30 p.m. My brothers and I were able to be with him and Mom. In fact, we spent the last few nights with them. I figured it was the first time in over 40 years that just the five of us slept under one roof.

Dad’s Alzheimer’s had progressed to the point that he was unable to even swallow, so he hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since Monday. It was so difficult to sit by and watch him struggle for each breath. All we could do was ask God to be merciful and then to trust His timing in everything. We have seen His hand over and over.

It was a blessing that our entire family was able to spend loving time with Dad over Christmas. I don’t know how a man could’ve have been hugged and kissed and told he was loved more. It was an honor and a privilege to help care for him during his last days.

The night before Dad died, my mom broke a tooth, and so she was able to get in to the see the dentist the following morning. It turned out that the dentist’s assistant had lost her husband last year and belongs to a grief support group. My mom already has gotten their number.

God has put several women into my life in the past year who have been such a support for me. Two of them have recently lost their dads. Two were very familiar with hospice care. One had extensive knowledge of Alzheimers disease. I see all of them as God’s gift to me before I really knew I would need them.

I’ve written enough about my dad in my blog that if you’ve read here much at all, you know he was a gentle, strong, Godly man. I was so blessed to have a wonderful dad for my whole life.

Right now the most difficult thing is to imagine my mom without him. I’m staying with her... sleeping on Dad’s side of the bed. Every corner of this house has his imprint. Right now I am siting in his recliner where he spent countless hours during the last year of his life. Today as we made decisions about his funeral, the suit he will wear and his crisp white shirt and beautiful tie were hanging on the back of the door. When the funeral director stepped out of the room for a bit, I was looking at the suit... smellng it really, trying to get a little of my dad’s scent. I started reaching into his pockets and discovered one of his handkerchiefs. (Do any men carry handkerchiefs anymore?) It made me cry and smile at the same time. My mom taught me how to iron by letting me iron Daddy’s handkerchiefs. I’ve claimed the handkerchief as mine!

Dad loved songs about Jesus. Mom has asked me to talk about that a bit at his funeral, and I am honored to do it. Even when he couldn’t remember what day it was or how to get to familiar places, he could remember all the hymns he loved. About a month ago, he was sitting in the bathroom singing “Pass Me Not O Gentle Savior” late one night. When he finished, he called to my mom, “Mama, did you hear that?” She said, “Yes, I heard.” He said, “Sounded pretty good, didn’t it.”

I love that even though Daddy loved the hymns, he loved new worship songs too. A few weeks ago, he and Mom heard Mercy Me on some tv show singing “I Can Only Imagine.” Dad said, “I like those guys. They really speak to me.”

I’m creating a memorial page for my dad. Here’s the link if you would like to read his obituary or know more about his funeral arrangments.

done

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:17:49 -0600

I’m finished shopping.

There were moments today when I looked at my list and thought, “I’ll never get it done.” But I hung in there, and I finally got home around 8 p.m., car loaded down, feet sore, MasterCard happy with all the credit they extended to me today.

I bought things at about 11 different stores, made four trips to the car to drop off packages, ate one Cinnabon caramel roll, made several unsuccessful attempts to find the Mario Kart for Wii, was waited on by a succession of exhausted but cheerful sales people, waited in very long lines, bought wrong sizes, and found just what I wanted for the most part.

Busiest store? The Apple Store.

Close second? Victoria’s Secret.

Quietest store? The Children’s Place.

Best bargain? Something I bought for Jamie.

Worst deal? What I ended paying for Super Mario Kart on Amazon tonight, along with express shipping.

Most important purchase? 24 C batteries. You gotta have power.

Best moment of the day? Getting home.

..........................

Thank you for praying for my mom and dad. We’ve had a hospital bed delivered to their house so that my dad can rest easier and it is easier to care for him. We’ve also gotten a Hoyer lift, something several people recommended to me. This will certainly help in getting Dad out of bed. He can no longer walk.

We are making a schedule so that one of us is able to go over to help Mom get him up in the morning and get him in bed at night. He sleeps a great deal of the time, but even that is a blessing since it is better than recent days when he was frightened and confused. I am doing my best to see everything in terms of God’s timing and God answering our prayers to be merciful.

This year has been good practice in taking one day at a time and not looking too far ahead. That’s what God is asking all of us to do now. And He’s giving us the strength to do it. I’ll have to admit that my shopping today was interrupted several times with a big lump rising up in my throat thinking about what an amazing blessing my dad has been to me my entire life. I honestly don’t have a single ugly memory of my dad, and how many people can say that.

Christmas week

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:32:47 -0600

Holly and Guy arrived yesterday about 4:30 and left 12 1/2 hours later. I heard Houston say sleepily at 4:45 a.m., “We’re only staying one day?”

They were headed for northern California, where Guy’s parents live. Holly said just before they pulled into our driveway yesterday, she told Violet good-bye for the next few weeks. With all the family around, I’m sure there will always be someone who will be wanting to hold “the baby.”

I’ve been sitting here for a while now trying to think of something more to write. The truth is, I’m not in a breezy, funny mood. My dad’s health is deteriorating pretty quickly. We would so appreciate your prayers for him and for my mom.

I’ll keep you posted.

decking the halls

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 01:32:22 -0600

I’ve s pent most of today decorating the inside of our house, and now I have the following items to report:

The chestnut salesman that is part of the Home Town Christmas scene we have had for at least 10 years is missing. Houston?

The baby Jesus is also missing from the animated Nativity scene. Do you think He will be there Christmas morning when we get up?

The wreath and lighted garland I’ve hung over the mantle could fall. I’m praying it doesn’t. But it might come crashing down during the night. It’s pretty heavy.

Long wide satin ribbon is a no-brainer for decorating the garland. There’s almost no way to do it wrong.

I’m shopping tomorrow and John has volunteered to clean up the debris I’ve left behind.

The oldest ornaments on our tree downstairs are four Courier and Ives ornaments that my brother and his wife gave us over 35 years ago. I can’t believe I still have them and I still love them so much. In fact, I think I love them more every year.

The newst ornaments are ones I ordered from QVC this (I order some every year). They look old... various shapes and colors of glass ornaments. I hung them first.

I love the three angels that have Jamie, Holly and Sue on them. A friend made them for us about 35 years ago.

I’ve cut bad on a lot of decorations this year. Not so many little things. Less is more.

I hope we don’t have to spent the entire holiday telling Violet, “No.” There sure are a lot of shiny things right at her eye level.

I missed a step on the ladder and nearly broke my leg. But I didn’t. It was scary though.

I love our upstairs tree. It’s all scarlet and gold ornaments of all kinds, and every year I manage to put more on it.

I love our downstairs tree more. That’s the tree with all the home-made, souvenir, and gift ornaments on it. That tree tells a story.

The worst part of decorating is fluffing the tree branches. My arms are all scratched up. The best part is turning out the lights and admiring it all when it’s done.

I listened to a barbershop quartet Christmas cd while I worked. A former student of mine, Jim Henry, was the bass in the group, and one year they were international champions.

Every year I think our decorations are more beautiful than ever. Yep. I feel like that this year, too.

a fresh coat of paint

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 22:57:00 -0600

I got home Friday about 5 p.m. and was excited to see home for several reasons. I’d been gone for over a week, and just to know that I’ll be home now until the second week of January makes me feel great. Earlier this week, we had the main part of our house painted. I say main part because the way it’s laid out, if you start painting in the living room, you really can’t stop without painting a whole heck of a lot of walls. I’d picked out the paint color before I left... but of course, one never knows what that little paint chip is going to look like all over the walls.

I really like it!

Friday evening we were just sitting down to eat when my mom called to say she was taking my dad to the emergency room. He’d been weak and getting weaker for several days. John had acctually gone over on Tuesday when Dad fell and Mom fell with him. By Friday, he could hardly hold his head up.

So John and I ate quickly and then headed to the hospital. After several hours of testing and giving him an IV, the doctor really didn’t find anything. No infection, no pneumonia, no sign of stroke. So we’re not sure what was going on, but while he was at the hospital, he seemed to perk up a little bit. So they didn’t keep him overnight, and we were so thankful for that.

I talked to Mom yesterday and she said he was strong and had gotten up and shaved and dressed. She was so encouraged by that.

I spent part of yesterday and today cleaning out closets and drawers and cabinets. I ended up cutting myself when I was trying to push trash down in the can and I guess there was a light bulb that broke. Nothing big, but certainly an annoyance.

Church was very good this morning. Dr. Tolbert’s message was about Joseph. Let me see... three points. Joseph was a man of conviction... and conviction is about a focus on God. Joseph was a man of compassion... and compassion is about a focus on others. Joseph was a man of courage... and courage is about a focus on obedience. Great message.

Something he said toward the end gave me an idea for a song, and I was writing it in my head and then on my bulletin during the last few minutes of the message. Gotta love it when that happens.

Our decorations are up outside, but nothing inside yet. Hope to get our trees up by mid-week.